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With failure chasing at my feet I will not be afraid to dream... [entries|friends|calendar]
Turtleneck Poncho

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[07 Mar 2006|03:49pm]
5:30 PM.

This one's for all the marbles.
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[17 Feb 2006|11:37am]
So I get out of the car to mail my blockbuster rental back and this guy who is already there says to me, "Are you SURE you're old enough to drive?"

Cause you know, if I were really 14 like he thought, I would probably be home at 11:30 am on a Friday...

Yeah.
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[07 Feb 2006|06:45pm]
I think buying something off eBay is a rite of passage.
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[26 Jan 2006|03:45pm]
I think I am finally going to get it together this time.
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Some people confess to murders on here [12 Jan 2006|07:33pm]
[ mood | irate ]

I came home yesterday and found a pencil in my toilet.

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[06 Dec 2005|10:55pm]
AdamJL18 (10:23:30 PM): omg
AdamJL18 (10:23:45 PM): that's nuts! you're more ortho than me in some matters this being one of them

If you can guess the matter he is speaking of, you win absolutely nothing ;-)

Or wait, I was giving out cool kid points wasn't I? But you couldn't redeem them for anything...So I guess if you happen to guess correctly you can choose nothing or cool kid points, both of which get you nothing.
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[29 Nov 2005|11:46pm]
I fOrTYsIxNTwO I (11:43:21 PM): you know what I mean?
Andifnotnowwhen (11:43:25 PM): no lol
Andifnotnowwhen (11:43:50 PM): you lost me at car jacking monkey
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[21 Nov 2005|03:59pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I think one of the most important things I have ever heard anyone say, was that

If you eat your food without thanking G-d for it, you are stealing it from G-d.



Stop stealing your food.
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Tales of the tragically uncool... [16 Nov 2005|11:04am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

So yesterday I went shopping. I get to AE and decide to try on like 1000 pairs of jeans and the girl who opens the fitting room doors is like,

"Would you like a sweater or something to try on with these jeans?"

"No thanks, I'm wearing a shirt under my coat."


I'm not even kidding...

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[14 Oct 2005|11:15am]
Today's my 19th birthday!
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[07 Oct 2005|03:40pm]
I'm so cranky and its hot here in the library and I'm a little scared that I might pick up the wrong book and wham! anthrax and the guy next to me is coughin' and I'm pretty convinced he's got the bird flu or something..

My mom got me a card for Rosh Hashanah and that was pretty kick ass.

Except now I have to be Superjew or else she will believe that the mitzvot are optional. So I'm pretty fucking stressed about not being able to have a day where I can doubt everything I believe and just freak out and eat a pound of bacon or something. I don't think I really would eat a pound of bacon, but its nice to know you can freak out and screw up.

Except I can't.
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[07 Oct 2005|02:38pm]
Everyone hear about the green stuff in the train station?

That was really mean.
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[06 Oct 2005|06:44pm]
Now that I think about it, it still could be bacterial slurry. All they had to do was write shampoo on it and wham! we are rubbing it into our scalps.

I have a question. Have you all seen the episode of The Simpsons where the kids are at school and they get snowed in? First of all, school ends at like what, 3 pm maybe a little later? And how long was it before Skinner had them going to sleep...not long, I figure it was maybe 7pm at the latest because they had some kind of dinner first and remember they got up after they took over the school for a long time..so okay, he tries to get them to bed and says to use the pee bucket next to Bart's head...funny, I agree, but why did they need a pee bucket? They clearly had electricity and they most likely had water as well because they wouldn't lose water during a snowstorm unless 1. there was no electricity which there was or 2. the pipes froze would you like me to get into why that is so unlikely? Okay. So why couldn't they use the regular bathrooms? What did they need a pee bucket for? Okay so the only possible explanation left is that they were stuck in the cafeteria. But they weren't, they made skinner climb the rope in the gym.

TV isn't fun for me anymore.
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[06 Oct 2005|06:17pm]
i think i will break my fast tonight by drinking a liter of manischewitz.

so I got an open bottle of shampoo in the mail today, complete with an apology from the post office for damaging the package. It smelled really good but it was a gooey paper envelope in a plastic bag and I was scared that somebody mailed us bacterial slurry of some kind so I checked out the company that sent it and opened it anyway and tried not to breathe but let me tell you, it was scary.

"Let me open it, I'm old."

I guess I was pretty convincing that it really could be biohazard material in the package.
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[29 Sep 2005|07:45pm]
I was feeling really bad and now I just feel warm and fuzzy and wondderfull. For real. My mom won't talk to me going on 2 days now whatever SHE IS FUCKING BICH ID IDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING!Q i worry a bout rosh ahashsahahna WHAT THE FUCK SHE WRTHROW A BLANKET AT ME AND LETS BMY BOOK DORP RIGHT ON THE FOOR ASSHOLE!
Sorry im drunking. anywya i dont know if is hould go or not goi or try to go ro what . why does everyone yhate me?

pone day im gonna end thsi
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[28 Sep 2005|06:58pm]
I think I want to adopt a special needs child.
2 comments|post comment

[24 Sep 2005|12:49pm]

Everyone has that weekend.  This is that weekend.

And..

HEY FUCKERS IF YOU THINK A FUCKING CHAIN LETTER MEANS ANYTHING, SERIOUSLY!!!, YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!!! GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!  OMG, GROW UP!!!!  NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU SEND ONE TO ME!!!!

FUCK YOU!

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[21 Sep 2005|11:19am]
You are a

Social Liberal
(76% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist




Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
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Adam is a sexy beast [20 Sep 2005|05:12pm]
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[16 Sep 2005|12:19pm]
So yesterday my great-grandma turned 96. Or so we think. We aren't sure which of the three birthdays is the right one, so we celebrate the one in September every year. I hope I am that kick ass at 96. Imagine living to see your first child turn 81! She wants to have a beer and go buy some makeup. That's fucking hilarious! Beer and makeup! Can you see where I get it from?
6 comments|post comment

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